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Sunday, March 2, 2014

recalling a childhood story i still think about alot..

i was telling a friend tonight a story that i always think about and try and analyze myself. lol.. and if you know me i analyze everything so don't think that didn't include myself on it as well.  I am definitely not immune to my analyzing myself or criticizing myself. I do that to myself more than anyone else. I am brutally honest to me.. lol.
anyway i am getting off topic.

ANYWAY>>>>

I must of been six maybe seven. I would really have to ask my mom or grandma for sure. We lived with my grandma and my mom and her were sitting at the dining room table in the house. Talking about something. I was outside in the warm weather with a neighborhood friend. I wish I could remember who.. omg!  We were walking down the street and i see a huge dead crow.  I got very upset I always believed every creature needed to be buried and a proper funeral or they wouldn't go to heaven. 

So i picked up this big dead crow or whatever was.. it was big and dead!  I carried it into the house and my mother screamed lol.. Throw that the fuck outside right now!  lol.. I remember not being scared but literally listening to her literally!

I went outside and threw the bird.. It hit the road and the body went one way and the head went the other.  I still fell upset that damn bird didn't get a proper funeral. lol.. My poor mom and family really did and probably in some way have their hands full with me. lol.

The way this got brought up was I was hurt by a supposed good friend realy hurt i never thought she would bum me out as I was and a lot time people realize I have thick skin from the industry I have been in so i don't show emotions easily or a lot in general. Doesn't mean I am not human. Doesn't mean I don't feel. It doesn't mean I don't hurt, experience happiness sadness and laughter and all that goes with it. I just don't express but believe me I hurt and care and love all deep deepness lol. Like they say

Still waters run deep..... and i am a deep person.
and i brought that story up b/c even as a child i had compassion for every creature.  Maybe I am actually very emotional so i have to hide it or feel I have to hide it b/c if i am sincerely emotional I would be more vulnerable to getting hurt.

Anyway like i said  analyzing.. lol

night you all!

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i have a website at www.kellykole.com i have been doing modeling, acting, promotional etc since i was 5 years old and started dance and ballet. i am originally from Albany, NY our capital. I have been living in the New York area for over 17 years. I am union actress sag/aftra. 8 am also a certified laser hair reduction tech and currently getting certified in yoga teacher training.