My dad passed away and he was gay. I always loved him and was proud of him my whole life. I never realized how big an accomplishment it was foe him to be openly gay. A Vietnam war vet an my dad. I will always love and be proud of everhtbkng he was and how he treated me so wonderfully. Tonight I miss him very much but I am honored for him to be my father .
As you know my dad passed away. It's been hard on me even though I am pretty at hiding it. We talked everyday so it's weird And lonely just a little lost. If that makes sense. I am mostly up at night I can't sleep more than. 4 hrs. I want to sleep but my body won't let me.
This week I did my regular gym a few days but everyday I have done hot yoga. I feel amazing and very clear headed. I am totally addicted to www.thehotyogaspot.com thanks to that studio I am mentally getting up getting things done and clearing my head of turmoil.
First time I have been upstate in years for Easter. It was a great day. I needed it. I went to my uncles and met his girlfriends family and friends and that was great. Then back to check on aunt Joyce and grandma and my doggies. Then my brother and his fiancé hosted Easter dinner to give my mom a break and their house looks great and Rachel is a modern day Betty Crocker. I thoroughly needed it. My sis and step dad and mom were there so it was a day with a lot of love. And that made my day. Now I am with my doggies and grandma enjoying my evening. Sometimes taking time from my serious side work and shoots and networking is needed or you get burned out.
I miss my dad alt but I am appreciating everything more bc of the loss It brought so many emotions And reality I might never really understood. I miss you dad!
I was going they my dads paper work to sort through his things today get his affairs altogether after his passing. It brought sun emotion up. He worked and worked his whole life and he looked out for me with a home and life policy. And he's not here to see things hay I will do to make him proud. It hurts so muh and it feels so warming to my heart that he loved me so muh that he secured everything for my future. I am so grateful and just in awwh my dad loved me so much and I love him so much for all it of it
Gos bless you daddy!
Read it last week. And it was wonderful book. I am onto the last secret series the secret magic. Very very good. And makes you realize how thankful to be to the u I star. Especially right now going thru the loss of my father I appreciate everyone and everything in my life.
Last Monday march 18, 2013 my father passed away. I knew I loved my dad. I spent time w him laughed with him, talked to him almost everyday. Sometimes I would think my goodness he calls alot and worries over silly things when he hasn't heard from me. He one he was sick. But we both thought he had time. I would of stayed the night enjoyed more time more memories. I know I shouldn't punish myself I just hurt so much. There is no more time. There are no more memories what I have is all I will ever have from this point on. It hurts so much and it sucks!
"A path with a heart" by jack kornfield a guide through the perils and promises o spiritual life. So far so good.
A nt at this junction in my life w questions of what I want in my future. Making sure I stray true to myself in spirit. Being open to ways I am may have misunderstood or just snubbed off. And I guess all this is coming to a fruition bc or my dad being terminanly ill . Not only to tey make sure he's cared for and as happy as he can be but I start thinking about all I want to bc we are given this life and it should be about working and soaking in Thia beaituful planet and all it has for it's. my mind is becoming very clear laty!
We are lucky every day w every moment. I think about it alot and never mention it. But I think we see those little things that make others feel good or bring smiles and light to their eyes . In turn makes us feel good and being smiles and light to our eyes. And every time I go over those little memories or moments I get that warm feeling again. I hope everyone feels that. It's amazing
The wise heart by jack kornfield I am about to finish reading it. It's an amazing book to break down the psychology of western civilization and how to be a Buddhist and how we all have a chance to find inner peace good karma and regeneration!
I always appreciate those in my life. Every night I go to bed I think of everyone in my life around my life or who touch my life. I think of strangers how all we all want as humans is to be loved to love to feel happiness and be acknowledged in be ways that make us warm and fuzzy inside. With my father ill it's on my mind more. I wanted to say that we all matter and we all should close our eyes at night knowing that we are special and all have something to contribute no matter big or small.
Peace love and happiness always!
Up in albany It's cold And chilly. I went and saw my dad in the hospital. He didn't look too good when I first entered room. He disnt have his teeth in and he was lying back and disnt even look alive. My stomach dropped and I freaked and I touched his hand and said "daddy" he slowly opened his eyes and was happy!
He definitely livened up after I Saw him. I left him a little raccoon and a Valentines day balloon !
He seemed so much happier and that made me feel good!
Sometimes u need clear head to see everything as it is. And hot yoga is giving it to me. Whether its outside seeing trees and feeling the air. Or I. My house w my two doggies and lighting candles and thinking how blessed I am and how grateful foe that specific moment. As corny as it sounds I am that more thankful for the life I lived and hope whoever reads this has those kind of days too!
Wow the New York area is freezing holy cow! Snuggle up! Layer up! I even blankets on Buddha and Mai-tai.
Getting up to start my day! Gym time feb and march hard core workouts! Everyday! And 2.5 hrs min a day. A summer body is made in winter! Here we go!
Wasa comical movie lol. It was educational to the degree of telling u how the vibratory emerged in society and how hysteria disappeared lol funny.
I watched i"it's good now" w Dakota Fanning it was an emotional and amazing view from parents friends and person who had leukemia view on what they felt went through and how day person was emotionally preparing for the death of the person w leukemia. Of course it was her choice to stop the treatment of chemo. And live what ever time she had left. Touching moving and tear jerker for all. Hit the heart and damage not only a great child hood actor but an adult one that is very much gonna be acting for many many years to come.
I have been In a movie kick the last few days. Tying to decide about new headshots. And then submitting my résumé and photos to the iactor website that is for union actors.
I am enjoyably thinking about what roles I would like to change be more serious of acting. I love foreign films etc.
So tonight again bc I can not sleep am watching "hysteria" a comedy based in old Victorian England about the invention of the vibrator.
I will post about it later.
I really didn't like part 2 bc it was all over the place. It was almost as if that should of been first. I know alot of movies go back and forth in time but not really mobster movies or during that time period. Which also makes it different and stand out in 1974 but it again I couldn't stay into it.
Believe it or not I never watched the godfather movies. I know bad girl! But I watched the first one and it was not only great but exciting to see actors back in the day. Wow.
Not sure why. I waited so long lol silly girl I guess!
She i am amazing actress. I just watched her in a good woman w Helen hunt. And I am watching the nanny diaries right now. And of course in the other boyleyn girl. Great movie and she transcends time periods w her demure look. One of my favorites.
i have a website at www.kellykole.com i have been doing modeling, acting, promotional etc since i was 5 years old and started dance and ballet. i am originally from Albany, NY our capital. I have been living in the New York area for over 17 years. I am union actress sag/aftra. 8 am also a certified laser hair reduction tech and currently getting certified in yoga teacher training.