Friend went home

Friends

Sometes no matter how much u try to show people that ur a good friend. In tho matter years. I had hope my friend she would see an learn to be a good friend to me. I recently found out she made me look like a monster to other people and probably ruined a lot of friendships along the way. It wasn't until she came to care for me after surgery and just every time I needed her it was almost like she purposely left me while I was sick and it was like being spit on. She was getting dental work down the road from my apartment. So I feel a bit used she got her stuff done and when needed her she wasn't there.
I am not a huge emotion shower but this really did hurt my feelings. Needless to stay. I told her she couldn't stay and she didn't care until she needed a place up stay a few days later. I told her no way never again. She wants to be my friend find no problem but it's best she not stay again.do if she wants to see me and she's staying in area then I know it's genuine and I am not bring used.

Such s day for appreciation

It's a beautiful day to appreciate our surroundings where ever they may be and whatever each persons circumstance it's beautiful each in its own way

i would love to hear opinions

i would love to hear opinions on what  everyone wants to talk about? what bothers them? whats on their minds?

again this blog is personal and real..  it might mention things and feelings about personal friends and family. i am writing to see what people in general.. all of you!!  find interesting or a subject to talk about.  i am thinking of doing a third book and trying to figure.. self help.. motivation..  anyone can overcome obstacles.. and when it comes down to it we are all so much alike and we resist it~

today i was thinking about how i grew up with my cousin we did everything together.  when i think of memories of her they are all good. we did dance and gymnastics and trips and just everything together.  then in our first few years of college even though we were family we grew apart.  i knew it was happening. i hated it but i thought it was her choice. we all have our lives and grow in separete ways or similar..  whatever.

so she got married i didn't go to wedding but i wasn't invited.  but invited and i don 't know why... i thought she was too young anyway.. early 20.. later they got seperated and she was pregnant with best mans child. he is awesome kid.  sensitive smart and sweet and absolutely POLITE!!  rarity these days.  so she married the best man joe... recently they got seperated and she came to my birthday last summer and was the cousin i knew. she was like and is like the a sister to me.  i have a sister but shes 12 years younger and we are not close. i actually think she has alot of anger towards me b/c i wasnt active in her life but i was older and lived with my grandmother. what can i do.. it is what it is...

anyway my cousin has been more social unfortunatley ner and her husband.. second one are seperated and i don't know why she wasn't tight with me when they were together but selfishly i am happy she is friendly with me again.  i truly am..

i don't think my sister sister and i will repair our relationship.
i am not going to feel bad for circumstances and life happening and i am not going to chase someone. i wanted to develop a relationsihp but maybe there isn't one to develop. i have to accept it and move on.

kids can be cruel i know from experience

when i lived in quaker street kids were cruel.  i didn't come from money i was pudgey b/c i was miserable.  i tried to to fit in being nice, being quiet and invisible, joining soccer.  nothing seemed to work. when i thought people were my friends i was wrong.  i always seemed to get hurt. so i went inside and played video games and listened to madonna and michael jackson. i also read everything on madonna. she really helped me through a hard time in my life through her music and michael jackson's.
i remember one halloween i thought i was finally going out and having fun. of course the boys i was hanging with had eggs and whipped cream and we were being bad!  and inside i knew it and just didn't want to be alone. but then towards the end what do they do to me. spray paint my jeans my dad bought me. they weren't cheap and my family was on a budget.  i didn't say anything to my family b/c i wasn't a rat.  but this is the abuse i put up with from my peers.