My mom got a boyfriend

my mother got a boyfriend after my father and her divorced he moved to del ray beach florida. i loved grandma and was always with her and my aunt and cousin (who was two years younger) my mother couldn't be bothered with me. she was always going out and when she came home and i wanted attention. she would tell my grandmother to "keep that kid quiet. i need some sleep" she constantly told me how she didn't want me and i was a mistake. she even once said she wish got an abortion and this is when i was 5. i remember these words like they were yesterday. i don't resent her now and we talk but i still have those memories and those actions. i don't dismiss them like they weren't said. So obviously i was grandmas baby. She loved me she read with me she taught me about trying things. Grandma always said try something once and if you don't like it at least you tried it. I always have since then. I am a better person and more well rounded because of it.

One day my mom comes back home (which was grandmas) and tells me that i am moving with her that she and her boyfriend Keith bought a house in Quaker street new york. I told her no i wanted to stay with grandma. She then treated me like an object not her child. She told me i was hers and not grandmas and i was moving with her and thats that. Then she would threaten to send me to my dads. which wasn't a bad thing but it was her empty threat. I even knew that as a child. SHe didn't like the fact that her daughter loved grandma more. Well she should of spent time with me and not have been so mentally abusive if she wanted me to want to be with her.
So of course she dragged me with her and Keith to Quaker Street.

I hated it there. I was there five years. It was horrible. Both Keith and my mother smoked and all the time. I was embarrassed one time my 8th grade home room teacher asked me if i smoked. Thats how much i smelled of smoke. I was mortified. I hid myself in my bedroom. Thank god my dad sent me a tv and ninentendo. I listened to Michael Jackson and Madonna and couldn't wait to not live there. My grades went from 90s to 30s and i was now pudgey b/c all i did was eat eclaires and root beer floats to drown my sorrows away. i contimplated killing myself on several occasions. i wanted to be with grandma and instead of my mother seeing that might be better for me. She hated that i felt that way always screaming i was her child and grandma and joyce took me from her. They did no such thing she was too busy good timing it to bother me. Its crazy she thinks i don't remember things like this. I was a kid not stupid. My moms boyfriend was a raging alcholic to top it all off.

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