kids can be cruel i know from experience

when i lived in quaker street kids were cruel.  i didn't come from money i was pudgey b/c i was miserable.  i tried to to fit in being nice, being quiet and invisible, joining soccer.  nothing seemed to work. when i thought people were my friends i was wrong.  i always seemed to get hurt. so i went inside and played video games and listened to madonna and michael jackson. i also read everything on madonna. she really helped me through a hard time in my life through her music and michael jackson's.
i remember one halloween i thought i was finally going out and having fun. of course the boys i was hanging with had eggs and whipped cream and we were being bad!  and inside i knew it and just didn't want to be alone. but then towards the end what do they do to me. spray paint my jeans my dad bought me. they weren't cheap and my family was on a budget.  i didn't say anything to my family b/c i wasn't a rat.  but this is the abuse i put up with from my peers. 
   

Rachel Krupsky over 20 years ago she influenced in the direction to where i have been!

It feels real strange to realize i have a friend so long. When your younger not that i am old.. i know i sound like i am over 90 lol. I always joke and say i am.. lol.

anyway we never see ourselves entwined or growing with individuals in life.
well rachel and i our journey began a long time ago. I was in a creative writing class and here comes this girl brown hair with a cute wavy bob. and brown eyes with a natural makeup. So clueless as she walked in half way through class. la di da like no big thing! .. i remember thinking the gumption on this girl. lol

i was also a cheerleader for the hudson valley college football and basketball team. it was basketball season and rachel and i started talking and she invited to a party. she told me how she modeled.
i had already taken ediquate classes and done some pageants. (which not until a year or so ago realized rachel was in it with me) i was friendly to her then too just gravitated towards each other. not even intentionally.

She came to pick me up at my grandmas for a good old traditional house party being a college student i felt i should part take! she showed up a few hours late to picking me up. Little did i know that was going to set the pace for her always extreme lateness. lol. while upsetting my poor grandma and telling her if i wanted to be real skinny to only eat carrots and celery. lol which i am already a diet feen so my grandma wasn't thrilled. what an impression. lol.

She drove this little red gremlin. OMG! and showed me her modeling portfolio The portfolio was so huge that it was us two girls and this huge book opened under the car inside light. She was photogenic and organized and motivated. I admired all of that. It was a basement apartment and i remember low ceilings and people dancing and drinking. And she walked in screaming " hi everyone hi everyone!" lol she was so happy and lively i loved it!.

Well rachel was doing all these mens magazines and i was telling me she was underage. I told her we had to get the photos back. she couldn't have vvulgar photos of her out there. So